[poem] dips and flows

I figured the ten or so people who have linked up to my blog might want to know why I haven’t updated in months. This is basically me.

“dips and flows”

how do you remember where you
are going
when everything about where you
have been
is muted or hidden,
and everything about where you
live is just the flux of dips or flows?

you get tools from learned men
you get pills from learned women
they get you through
and you know you won’t look where
you are going
you cannot see where you’ve been
just the dip or flow.

It could make you right for the task
of the people’s fight,
you won’t ever know you’re right
you won’t ever know where it’s going
is it nihilism or life

take the street.

all you are is the accumulation of where
you’ve been
and you cannot see through the mire
of past pills and lines and drinks
shakes in the morning and night
all the people whose faces are blurred
through long nights
and fast running away
most of the sex was good at least
most of the friends fell away
most had to run before you could.

you cannot differentiate between
the exploitation times
the wage
the begging on parking lots
and scams keeping you upright

you cannot breathe through the night.

today and yesterday you know it’s
just been dips and flows
night is worse
and there is not day.

you only know a thing will come around
there’s a day when sense makes you
now it’s only major chords to guide
delta blues symmetry
cigarettes and coffee
cat’s matted fur
someday something else will be new

you will not always pass your brother’s
face on your way to sleep after
hours more spent in books you
forget
in resigned isolation until the time
the street is real under you.

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